Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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