i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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