so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
