god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
