I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
