is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
