paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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