All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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