no, he came in my armpit
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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