What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
