How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
