Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
