I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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