I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
