Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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