i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
