He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
