Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
