Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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