I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
