Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
