yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
