You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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