How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
