I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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