I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
