Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
