Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
