i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
honey bunches of taint.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize