i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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