I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
