So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
