I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
