it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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