Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
