You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
