: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
