Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
