Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
