I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
