I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
