I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
