I am puke
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize