I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
