We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
