Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
