Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
