is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
