I need help removing her.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
