I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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