A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize