someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
