one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
