HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
