Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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