I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i've created a new STD.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
