you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
