We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
