did you get engaged???
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
