I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
