But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
