I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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