they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize