Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
