her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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