I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
