So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
