he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
