The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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