The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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