Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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