I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize