i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
